Its actually rather strange when I think about all the things i go through in life. I have a great family, a bunch of friends who love me and hate my antics, a pretty Ok job which lets me make ends meet, more importantly, a special someone who insanely loves me.
But there is something missing. Every day that i keep myself awake, it is as if i keep increasing the distance between the world and me.
I find it hard to remember what my childhood was like. I remember the days i would play in the fields outside our house in sadiq nagar, remember the ire i would face in going to school. Remember how I turned down the opportunity to be the head boy at school.
Thinking about those days, God i want it all back.
Now it’s become ironically different. I am not the Einstein I used to be, not the bright kid in class not asking questions, but answering them, not the horrible cricket player (well I’m still horrible at cricket actually)..
I miss it all. All the days I spent as being me!
Perhaps all that was meant to be was that. Perhaps all that was meant to be was in my destiny. I don’t know what awaits me in the future… at some level I don’t want to know.
I was always a cool kid.. just one thing set me apart. I never gave a toss to what people thought. The one thing that set me apart from everything.. the one thing I have since lost.
And I want it back! One day I will get myself back. One day, free from all the dependence, free from all the norms, all the concerns all the compulsion.
I remember myself. And I shan’t forget. Ever!